心情指数:3/10

头痛
痛到习惯了
已经没有知觉了
一阵一阵一阵的痛

习惯它了

一直睡不好.....

最近一年以来,好像都一直睡不好

有点.....严重了

眼睛视力好像明显下降

听说哭
会瞎

========================================================================================================

整个人精神瘫痪了
我不知道我在做什么

每天
在大家面前笑脸盈盈

我还记得前天
毓婷有在文8问我
“老师你今天心情很好啊?一直笑?”
我真的无法回答
尴尬的说:没有好啊

教初二
才是惨
好像在扮小丑
无法做自己
一节课过后直接虚脱

==============================================================================================================

我不好
所以不要觉得亏欠我

p2 lecturer说过
“让学生对不起老师,老师就成功了”

是吗?
为什么我觉得很糟糕啊?
所以很多话,听听就好~
不是比自己厉害的人
说的话就一定对

我只想坚持

今天的第三包nasi lemak
IMG242

维善给的
特地拿来办公室给我

我没有很好
不用对我那么好....

IMG243

文光的周记
“不想欠我一辈子”

我真的很无力了.....

如果当我是朋友干嘛这样?

================================================================================================================

我以为
我不会伤人的

上次伤了谁?
小凹?带靖婷去找健颖的时候,她打电话来,我骗她有交警....后来被发现
她很伤....哭了很久.......
她信任我.....一向来都不对她说谎

上次伤了谁?
丽晶?想找我,想和我解决问题
却被我一直打回去......在班上哭了很久.........
她走向我.....我却转过头

这次伤了谁?
慧慧惠萍?生日冲去慧慧家
自己被忽略,所以在部落乱发泄
“很累了 还是特地当司机 反正我习惯当司机了”
没有想到这句话伤害那么大?

我到底做了什么?

部落格是我的日记
我就是信任你们,想给你们更了解我
才给的........

我乱的时候
真的也会乱写
我什么也写一写

我也以为
可以对你们完全坦白

真的....我还真的很喜欢载我在意的人啊
我很想带着你们去玩啊

曾经慧慧说:年尾上云顶咯~
然后刚才看到她们在组织去Universal...
有点羡慕

我珍惜着你们........
我知道当时很伤
可是能不能就看开
我还是觉得我们是互相在意的
不是吗?

部落格真的害惨我
今天也中一单
雪仪和嘉乐
IMG241
不过她们很主动
直接讲
不然我怎么知道她们自己去search出来我的blog啊

其实慧慧和惠萍从来也没有跟我说我里面写的什么东西
也没有表示什么
我以为她们没有怎么在看
哪里知道原来一直都在看.......T_T

=================================================================================================================

Jaime Leow
Boon Leong are u ok....?

YesterdayHo Boon Leong
actually no...
and you?
how's everything?

23 hours agoJaime Leow
Hmmm... Trying to survive. I can tell that ure not good as I saw ur status
Family issue?

23 hours agoHo Boon Leong
haiz.... school
students ..... i mean my friends....
really long story

23 hours agoJaime Leow
Okay.... Nah, that's fine no intended to goes for details
Just wanna to check u're all right

23 hours agoHo Boon Leong
no..... you know me....
just too long
how to say out here?
you dun have any trusts in me?

23 hours agoJaime Leow
Hahahhaa that's ok. I really don't intend to go for details. As long as u are still hanging there. Just remember shits always happen, that's just sth that we can't change
Most importantly, be ur self

23 hours agoHo Boon Leong
i dun think i can make it through

23 hours agoJaime Leow
That bad huh?

23 hours agoHo Boon Leong
erm....

23 hours agoJaime Leow
Hugs

23 hours agoHo Boon Leong
thx ^^
nvm la ~
err... maybe times can heal me

23 hours agoJaime Leow
Wait till I'm back I will be the best listener okay? Hugsssss

23 hours agoHo Boon Leong
erm......
sure
and i really need one

23 hours agoJaime Leow
Don't worry. I'll definitely be there
If i were in M'sia n I knew how to drive I would hv already in front of your front door
Lolx

23 hours agoHo Boon Leong

you are such a best fren for me
can i ask you sth?

23 hours agoJaime Leow
Go ahead

23 hours agoHo Boon Leong
err..... if i treat you really good.... would you feel guitly?
or not comfortable...?
if we are just met
not close like us

23 hours agoJaime Leow
U know what, I am naturally born thick-skinned. So I wouldn't feel guilty but I might think that u are interested in mr
*me

23 hours agoHo Boon Leong
then how what do you think about "friendship"?

23 hours agoJaime Leow
Friendship takes time to discover n maintain

23 hours agoHo Boon Leong
how do you cope with crisis of friendship?

23 hours agoJaime Leow
U can't tell a person whether he/ she can be a real true friend by just meeting each other. That's very rare case
Times to wash it off and start talking after a while. Take a break I would say

23 hours agoHo Boon Leong
but if you really dun wan to lose that friends ... then how?
take a break maybe the break is forever... then how?

23 hours agoJaime Leow
In my opinion, it is getting harder n harder if u wanna to click with someone by just getting know of them as u grow older. It happens quite easily while at young age but def not after uni times
Try to communicate. If u try all means but getting no where, there is so much u can do. I hv been through that. It's sad n it haunts u all the time even years after but u got no choice as friendship is a two ways thing not decided by u only
If it is going to be forever, u hv to come to a point that you guys just not meant to be friend
U will try to get things right but things won't go as u wish. So bury it deep down in ur heart n carry on ur life, keep moving
Things aren't going to change no matter how long u are going to keep dwelling on it. It's hard n it takes time but gotta realize the fact that its upon ur choice
It's not upon ur choice*

23 hours agoHo Boon Leong
you know wat... my students feel guity to me.... and i treat them as my frens....in my view, frens dun feel guilty each other..... why is that everybody feel sorry for me? am i really that good that they cannot afford my kindness?
am i really that nice?
i should say am i really too nice?

23 hours agoJaime Leow
They are young n they don't really what's type friend for. Boon Leong, I said once to u before. Students r students. It's not possible that they can be friend as they have to reach ur maturity. Students that age as I remember myself at their age I like to say things like I'm super super mature and think thoroughly but in fact I wasn't. It takes times to experience stuffs and they just aren't reaching that stages. Try not putting personal feelings in your 'workplace' otherwise u will be stuck on the same problem over n over again

23 hours agoJaime Leow
* they don't really know what's friends are for
They have not yet reach ur maturity*

23 hours agoHo Boon Leong
==

23 hours agoJaime Leow
I know u always got ur own point of view but u hv to realize it. Ask urself how many times hv u been affected by ur students
Try to digest what I said. I gotta sleep soon. Need to wake up early tmrw. Sorry cant helping u through to sort ur mind out now. I will talk to u soon okay? Anything leave me a msg. Love u. Hugs
Good night

23 hours agoHo Boon Leong
Good 9

actually i just wanna persist on my belief
i dunno why you cannot just be my side and side me
i know ..... maybe this is so called maturity
but i dun think i am mature
never mature before
you guys didnt teach me this situation this scenario before when we were young in high school
you guys always perform the perfect and ideal friendship in front of me
never show any imperfections
now that i've met this situation......now only i know the real friendship is.........
now only i know how is it feel when i am trying to grab and hold my friendship tight
cuz.... they are quite important in my life
i am really touch that you said if you were in malaysia , you will come to me right the way
but ..... how come i feel like we are really more and more apart......
i mean in a way of ....... friend....
that is a feeling of losing a friend ? too ? maybe?

why cant you side me? students are frens for me.....!
you sound like school
really sad
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